From the Offices of: City/Zulch
Author: James E. T. Stribrny (Mayor's Clerk)
Date Written: 2023-06-17 10:52:31
Date Published: 2023-06-17 11:09:37
Good morning, gentlemen. Today we have passed, among other ordinances, an ordinance prohibiting the desecration of our United State's flag. In spite of past supreme court decisions and a long history of a losing battle to protect of our flag, honoring our fallen soldiers, the city of Zulch has passed an ordinance which shall prohibit desecration of the flag: (a) By the cloth, synthetic or natural, touching the floor. (b) By tattering the flag recklessly or through intentional action. (c) By burning the flag without ceremony or as a sign of protest. (d) By dirtying the flag as a sign of protest or distaste. (e) By using the flag to foster corruption. (f) By failing to comply with mandatory ceremonies relating to the flag. (g) In any way defined in special meetings by the council after the passing of this ordinance. Gentlemen, our flag has been under attack since it first existed, and it is the duty of all Americans to protect it with their life and soul, just as our fallen and crippled soldiers have done. Our ordinance may get struck down by superior courts, but we pledge to fight this battle long and hard until we have the right to enforce the protection of our most invaluable flag. We would like to thank our legionnaires, our veterans, for opening our eyes to the true meaning and importance of the flag of the United States of America. Thank you all, and have a great day.